Saturday: Self Reflection ✌

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For as long as I can recall I have been a very expressive person. Unable to shield how I feel and hide my true feelings was both a blessing and a curse, that seemingly got me into many sticky situations as I was growing up.

As I have aged and grown the wiser, learned and evolved, I have realized that peace is a much happier and healthier place to be. Although a huge process, a large part of cultivating that peace has been looking inward, tapping into my roots, my core and writing my ebbs and flows through means of words and language.  Tying sentences and stringing them together to develop a sense of how I was feeling in that very moment, leaving me with a feeling, not just a memory, but an actual sensation of that moment in time was something that I found to be very helpful in my process of my personal journey to healing.

One of my greatest grievances with having cancer has been staying sharp with my Britt wit, but falling short in the memory department.  Although I have not been the most consistent with blogging, I have pages upon pages of writings from the past three years that have preceded me through some of my highest highs and lowest lows.

In a recent study performed by Duke University, they found that writing, particularly personal narratives after traumatic events helps to reshape your life, make sense of it, and ultimately lead to improved behavioral changes as well as additive benefits to your health.

Engaging and investing in your own story, understanding your fears, dreams and the world around you, while being able to express it in any medium is the most liberating form of art and happiness any one could ask for.  This being a personal testament of my very own through my experiences of my disease and writing, amongst other opportunities.

My point is, at the end of the day you chose your own narrative, you can chose to edit, delete and add pieces to your story at any point but the most important thing is to constantly self reflect.  It is both a humbling process and essential to becoming your higher and better self.

Peace and love my friends and happy weekend!

Do what you love and stay true.

Love,

Britt x

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Let Me Be Clear:

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When I was a child, maybe six or seven, I told my cousin that my favorite color was clear. He argued with me, exclaiming that clear was in fact not a color.   We pretty much grew up as brother and sister, loving and arguing as such. Rumor has it, I was an extremely bossy and demanding child, in which case not much has altered. Nevertheless, my beloved cousin and I made it through my dictator phase and recently reminisced over the phone about that brief, clear conversation during our adolescence. Cracking up at the transparent ridiculousness of it all, we ended the call. The urge to suddenly psycho analyze myself came over me.  

What was it about this quirky “favorite color” of mine and why would it make sense throughout the common theme of my life?

I was on it.

Clear.  Clear?  Clear!  Suddenly everything seemed clear as day.  Throughout my entire life I have craved clarity and even more so now that I am on a journey of finding my true self.  Understanding my story and the purpose of my set of circumstances, has become one of the driving forces that continues to keep up my resiliency.

Without going into too much detail, there were some befogging things about my youth.  An American with a British accent — Great Britt, my loved ones would call me.  My Mum was a teenager when she brought me into this world and just a short while later my biological father died at a very young age. Heartbreakingly, my Granddad soon followed, passing away from cancer that rapidly took him at forty-nine, leaving him to depart in a matter of months.

Cancer, son of a bitch.

Because I didn’t have a father in my younger years, before my Dad adopted me, my Granddad was my first love and his death was both devastating and confusing all at once. Many tragedies took place in the short amount of time I had been on earth and I didn’t realize at the time how much all of these events would shape me as a human.

Material items were abundantly gifted to me from the strong women that raised me; never leaving me without anything, especially love.  Even still, I always felt a pinch unclear about a lot.

Around the same time I had originally professed my favorite color to my cousin, I met my very best friend, Crystal.  Coincidence in her name? Perhaps. Or perhaps it was shimmering kismet.  My attraction to her from the very beginning was her ability to be completely transparent, even to this day.  She is the person that I can count on to tell me when I am making reckless decisions, or make me cry because she gives it to me straight instead of blowing smoke up my ass.  Tough love at its finest and as always, crystal clear.

Fast forward twenty plus years and my life’s mission is to expose myself; as open as the air.  Make the most out of myself, while welcoming people along for the ride.  I’m working everyday for a clear vision as to why I am here and a purpose as to how I have been blessed time and time again after coming so intensely close to death.

One thing is clear for certain; clarity comes from within, as well as the people you surround yourself with and exploring your core being. From there, life becomes as clear as the sunniest day you ever did see.
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Love,

Britt xx

PS:  Thanks for the memories, Aust.  Clear for life. xx

B.K.O. for #BSMHB: Life of a Train

#BKO for #BSMHB

LifeTrain

” Living resembles the life of a train.  Chugging along as best you can.  Passengers coming and going, baggage in tow.  Scenery forever changing, leaving you to wonder — where did it go? Constant parts in motion, trusting the route is properly laid out.  The destination is not always visible, at times even jolting off track, entering dark tunnels where sometimes it feels pitch black.  Yet, if you keep chugging on, you’ll soon find that the light will eventually shine so bright.” – BKO

Love,

Britt x

It’s Official: www.BeStillMyHeartBlog.com

It’s official.

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Be Still My Heart Blog is officially a dot com. A new year is upon us, as well as a new me and overall content of #BSMHB. I had mentioned previously that I was gearing more towards a lifestyle story, if you will, through pictures and words. Having cancer tends to throw a wrench into things at the most inconvenient times. Yet, I won’t allow that to set me back, babes.

Now that I am moving around a bit easier and the pain is lessoning day by day, I want to show the world how wonderful, colorful and interesting life can be despite having terminal cancer. (I am still writing about everything that recently occurred with my medical situation and wrapping my head around it all.  Blog to come on that…)

In lieu of that, to officially kick off the lifestyle variety aspect of my blog, including fashion, photography and blah, blah — you know, I have been collecting questions I have received via email and included some extra that you’ll hopefully jive with.

Q + A with Be Still My Heart Blog


Q: How would you best describe your style?

A: I’m drawn to anything that resembles the 1960’s. That’s an era in terms of fashion that I would have loved to be a part of. The 90’s grunge is also something I’m highly attracted to. I guess my style could be described as retro grunge. I’m going to make that a thing, although I’m sure it already is?


Q: Who would you say is your number one fashion inspiration?

A: Devious question because I have many. But the one specifically coming to mind is, Edie Sedgwick. She was so ahead of her time, fashion forward in all of her glory.


Q: What made you decide to start blogging? 

A: Not many people know this, but I actually started a fashion/travel/lifestyle type of blog back in 2008 or so. I loved doing it, I loved the creative freedom of being able to compartmentalize my thoughts both visually and textually. Then once I was diagnosed with cancer, I began #BSMHB as a way to document everything that was happening in my life. But now I am ready to share a lot of other aspects of myself and my life outside of just cancer; what it is like to be young(ish), up-to-the-minute and pumped with chemo.


Q: Nylon or Vogue?

A: Nylon all the way. I’ve read both for years, but I always seem to connect more with the content amongst everything else that Nylon has to offer as a magazine publication.  Cosmo is also my jam. Sorry,  Anna Wintour.


Q: What are some of your current fashion obsessions?

A: Buttons. Flare. Pin-bling. Everything I own — jacket wise has a button or five on it. CAN’T STOP. WON’T STOP.


Q: What type of camera do you use?

A: An iPhone — I’m not a pro, but I can imagine to be.


Q: What is your dream job?

A: It’s funny, I don’t think I would be able to go back to working for anyone again.  I guess never say never, but I’ve realized I’m better off doing my own thing, freelancing creatively. I’d say Author would be at the top of my list. Anything in the creative realm is a dream, really.


Q: Name your Top 3 favorite bands:

A: Easy — 1) The Beatles 2) Third Eye Blind 3) The Format


Q: Do you prefer music on Vinyl? CD? or Download?

A: Who doesn’t prefer their music on Vinyl? The cracks are the best part. This year I joined the best “box” club called Vinyl Me Please and each month I receive a new vinyl. So far they’ve all been badass and totally exciting to get new music in the post every month.


Q: Favorite makeup brand?

A: I’ve got to say, I’m a MAC girl, through and through. I’ve veered over to Nars, Dior, Urban Decay — you name it, but I always swerve back for MAC. Pharmacy makeup impresses me at times though, i.e.- Rimmel London. Oh yas.


Q: Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn?

A: Sorry, Brigitte Bardot. She’s the ultimate babe in my book — and Jackie O., I love her so.


Q: How many tattoos do you have?

A: If my Nan had been asked this question, she’d say, ‘one too many’. But, I believe I have eight, but most of them are dainty, except for my Hamsa.


Q: Favorite Quote?

A: “You live but once; you might as well make it amusing.” – Coco Chanel


Q: What is one thing your readers would be surprised to hear?

A: Probably my half American/British accent that switches on an off. (lol) — otherwise, I hope my readers continue to enjoy the content and a peek inside the day to day lifestyle of a young cancer chick. #AWARENESS and #STYLE will go hand in hand, just you watch.


E-mail me (link on sidebar) if you have any questions or want to connect!  And watch out for some outfits on the blog.

Big X,

Britt

 

B.K.O. for #BSMHB

B.K.O. for BSMHB

Love,

Britt x