A BROAD, ABROAD WITH A BLOG, ✈

Hello, my shining moonbeams. It’s been a minute. Within that minute I have entered what I feel to be a new phase in my life, a freeing phase that is catapulted by happiness. For nearly a month, I spent time across the pond and rediscovered my life and the things I want out of it.

To start off, wow. Can I just say – I LOVE ENGLAND! I’ve always known that and I had been there times before, but this time felt different. As most of you know, if you follow my story, I have been on travel lock down since my cancer diagnosis in the summer of 2013. By nature I am a jetsetter. I enjoy being in unknown places, without being attached to my “real” life and the troubles within. When I travel, there is a certain romance to it, a freedom that allows you to be whomever you want and for me, that is living without a terminal illness. I’m able to go back to being me; an adventurer with thirst in my blood for worldly experiences. When I was diagnosed, I felt that one of the biggest losses to having cancer was the fact that I could no longer be as free as I wished to be. My citizen of the world passport would no longer apply and I’d be stuck doing treatment after treatment without an escape. My escape had become writing. If I were no longer going to be able to leave and experience life, then I’d write about it, which I have.

This year, 2015, I vowed to myself that it would be different than the last two, that I would yet again spread my wings and live a little. In the beginning of the year I approached my Doctor and pleaded for some independence from my chemotherapy week after week, to which she obliged and advised that 2015 could be my year of travel with chemo squeezed in between. It was the best news I had heard in quite some time and immediately booked a trip to Hawaii with Steve-O and planned the trip for Nan and I go travel to the UK together to attend my beautiful cousin’s wedding and share laughs and love with the family over there that we don’t get to see often enough.

The trip was so important to me and I wanted to ensure that I soaked everything in. My Nan in her very own way was my wish-granting factory, as she made the trip happen. Being that we were returning to her home town, I was fortunate enough to visit her previous homes, where she grew up, the house she was born in, the hospital she had my Mum and Auntie Bev in, where my Granddad went to college, where the two of them were married and so much more. Being able to experience England through her eyes was more than my hearts desire and something I will never be able to thank her enough for.

There were endless amounts of stories, laughs, fish and chips, tea and best of all time with family on both my Nan’s side and my Granddad’s side.   My roots are in full force over there and it was lovely to get to know that side of myself so much more. The posh wedding of my cousin, which we attended, has built memories that will last a life time, as well as traveling to Chester, Liverpool and all over the Wirral with my cousin’s and their other halves, of course also visiting London with the best company and seeing each and every friend and family member. Howls were had, love was expressed and England will forever hold the key to my heart. Quite literally, as Nan and I locked our love on Albert Dock in Liverpool and threw the key into the River Mersey. Our loved ones can continue to visit us in Liverpool, even though we may not physically be there, our spirit will always remain.

Since I’ve been back I have been reliving each moment in my head and finding it difficult to write about. My time spent there was so special, that it is difficult to express. I feel rejuvenated and feel I have a new sense of direction for my life.   Suddenly gears have started moving upon my return and from that, fresh goals have emerged. I’m super excited about the future and what it holds and as things get closer, I’ll share more deets.

In the meantime, check out some photos from my trip and watch out for some upcoming projects and collabos. Big Kiss x.

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Love, Britt x

❝My Best Friend’s Wedding❞

♡ An open letter to my very best friend, along with a video that captured the utopia that was our time spent together and her wedding celebration. ♡

Crystal,

When we met nearly two decades ago on that fateful Halloween, you donned a perfect Doctor outfit, while I was dressed up as ridiculous French Maid.  This set the tone for our personalities and our friendship.  You have always been the responsible, studious one, while I was a bit crazy and at times wild. However, that couldn’t be a more perfect balance for us; you are the yin to my yang.  While you were dubbed the good child and I the bad child, we created many memories over the years, finding endless ways to entertain ourselves and not realizing that the days of our youth was only momentary.

We entered each other’s lives at the perfect time, as we were both the only children in our families.  We immediately took to one another and soon our friendship spun into a sisterhood.  We would play house for hours, ride our bikes pretending they were horses, have our Saturday golf lessons and ultimately spend every waking second together, all the while never getting on each other’s nerves.  Even as children we had an unbreakable bond that most people do not find in a lifetime.

As we developed into our teen years we remained as close as could be, as we entered the awkward years that is high school.  Where you went, I went and vice versa.  Even after I moved to Wisconsin in the middle of our high school career, our friendship remained intact and we would travel hours by plane to visit one each other and pick up exactly where we left off.

We tried living together as we entered our earlier twenties, once I moved back to Phoenix and we soon realized that being the best friends that we were, did not lend it self to also being roommates.  And you know what?  So what, we had a little blip in the road of our twenty year relationship.  That’s what relationships are all about, ebbs and flows.

Crystal, you have always been number one in my book.  We have thousands upon thousands of stories, inside jokes and memories to fill the pages of books.  I’m inclined to say that there is truly no one more marvelous than you.  I am so proud of the beautiful person that you have become, all of the wonderful things you have accomplished and most of all I am joyed to stand before you after all these years and say “congratulations” on marrying your best friend (in male form obviously).

As for Sunny, I don’t have to tell him what a four-leaf clover you are.  He knows that you are hard to find and lucky to have.  I have known you longer than I haven’t known you.  I know that you are as picky as it gets when it comes to gentleman suitors and that Sunny must be pretty special to nab your fancy.  I know that the two of you will also fill pages and pages of memories over the years and if anyone is worthy of your companionship, it is Sunny.

I may not have a lifetime of experience being married, as it has only been two years, but I do have a lifetime of experience in an impeccable friendship with you.  My advice:  always treat each other with respect, first and foremost, listen to one another and most of all, laugh.  Laugh at yourselves, laugh at each other and laugh together.

Here’s to a marriage full of love, laughter and forever friendship.

Loving you always,

Britt x

‘Cause it’s a Bittersweet Symphony, This Life… ⚖

Lets Go

Bittersweet was the taste as the plane hit the tarmac and we returned from a weekend in what I would designate as heaven.  My dearest friend Crystal, whom I have cooed about in previous context got married this past weekend and I was lucky enough to stand by her side and in front of the beautiful backdrop that is Tahoe.  The celebration began last Thursday with myself, Steve, my dear friend Allison, along with the newlyweds and their families.  We relished in the beautiful weather of Northern California, where Crystal lives, before trekking to Tahoe on Saturday to begin the “wedding weekend”.

To say that the wedding and the time spent with some of my favorite beings was purely utopia would be an understatement. We were not only surrounded by transcendent beauty, but the company was even more filling.  The retreat aided many things for me and was a turning point to what I knew I would be coming home to begin; fertility and chemotherapy.  Endeavoring to live up to the moment, I wanted to inhale every last second that I encountered during this trip, for I knew it would be awhile before I’d have this feeling again.

At the heart of the matter, I recognized that I had a lingering responsibility to my life upon my return; I had been keeping company with an emblematic ghost, always reminding me of what was beyond the weekend of August 10th.   Though, it seemed that while I was mindful of the reality that would meet me the very moment I landed back in Phoenix, I had a solid few days to possess all on my own.  In fact, there were several times that I reached solitude from the cancer.  Occasionally it takes the exquisiteness of environment to realize there is something out there much bigger than you.  I felt free; free of cancer, free of problematic entities and predominantly free of fear.  I watched the sun paint an orange sky; trees cast their shadows and embraced the wind at my back.  I was completely bathed in euphoria and did not oblige the concerns that I would be met with as the plane landed.

Bittersweet was the taste, as the plane hit the tarmac and I came down from the cloud that I was floating on for the last several days. Resonating with my empty promise of fearlessness, my Shangri-La soon came to an end and less than 24 hours after my arrival home, I was returning to life as a professional sick person and Doctor’s waiting room’s.

Today began my fertility treatment, in which I will have to give myself numerous injections daily for the next two weeks.  While I am happy and relieved to have the ball rolling on the fertility preservation, it will also conclude, much like my trip to Tahoe and then the inevitable chemo will begin thereafter.  I am pleased with the fact that the ball is now in motion but continue to taste the wistful bittersweet difference between nostalgia of the colors that this past weekend cast upon me and my cancerous existence.  After all, as The Verve once put it, “…it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life.”

Love,

Britt x

Atoms & Stories

I am going to partake in some of those story making atoms and head to Sacramento, then Tahoe over the weekend for my best friend’s wedding.  I’ll be back next week with lots to share!

✈ ♡ ✈

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Lasting Luck ♥

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Well, what can I say?  How can one be so luckless, yet lucky at the same time?  Here I lie, with my predetermined outcome of being too young for cancer (isn’t everyone though?) and what I consider to be an ill-fated turn of events.  Then on the flip side, I have been blessed with the good fortune of an amazing friend, confidant and sister from another mister.

Over this past weekend, my best lady, childhood friend and partner in crime concocted a plan to fly from her home in Sacramento to Phoenix, all in an effort to surprise little old me.  Let me start off by saying that, Crystal, my best friend with whom I am going to gush about for the next few minutes, is getting married in less than two weeks.  TWO WEEKS!  Visibly, she is a remarkable mate for that alone!  Anyone who has planned a wedding knows that the last two weeks can be the most frenzied period in your life.  Low and behold, this incredible, yet sneaky woman pulled off her plan and it brought me to tears of utter joy and delight.

After the heart palpitations stopped from my jaw dropping shock, she whisked me away to go dress shopping so I could find something to wear on her special day.  Crystal has been the most simple of brides and although I am her matron of honor, she hasn’t tasked me out with any unruly, bridezilla like duties.  In fact, she has been so low maintenance that when it came to picking out the dress I would be wearing in and to her wedding, she let me have full rein.  As luck would have it, we were able to find the perfect dress! In suit of wedding activities, I was also able to uphold MOH ventures and throw an impromptu Bridal Shower, which turned out to be practically perfect in every way.  Purposely waiting for Crystal’s wedding, my chemotherapy isn’t set to begin until the week I get back from Tahoe, where the wedding will take place.   Willingly, I will be able to have one last hoorah before my low level toxin begins.

The weekend was spent in merriment of anticyclones, with little room to reflect on my cancerous state.  Taking a trip down memory lane through childhood pictures was the right amount of nourishment for the soul, making me realize that I have known Crystal longer than I haven’t known her.   We’ve shared a friendship that lasts longer than most marriages and inside jokes that could fill pages of a book.  Two decades of companionship has been more than luck; it’s been a godsend.  My point is, although I consider myself to be quite unfortunate with my current situation, I couldn’t be more privileged to have such an inspiring person in my life.  There is not a medication in the world that could have been as good as the company I received this weekend!

Crystal, “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”  I love you more than life and thank you for your paramount surprise.  Let the countdown to Tahoe begin…

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