The search for inner peace is a hard conquest — one that many people spend their entire lives looking for. When things get a little unsteady, I can usually look to that inner peace and strength to get me through, however sometimes when searching for it, it appears to have gone missing. So far this year, I have been missing in action from writing on my blog, to which is something I’ve always been able to turn to when I am a bit on the “emosh” side.

It’s easier for me to write when I am in pain. Maybe I’m a masochist, or my Scorpio like tendencies are driven by the moody blues, but my goal this year is to find it within myself to also be inspired to write when I am happy and share all of the positive things that are going on in my young life, rather than being limited to my cancer diagnosis. I hope to be reacquainted more with my blog and followers by sharing areas within my life that is worth sharing. The truth is, I live a life so full and that should be what keeps me going, rather than my sad story of cancer. Please don’t get me wrong, cancer is VERY much a part of my life and it still rules my life to some degree, but more than ever I am learning and re-learning to do the things I love and compartmentalize my energy into doing what’s best for me. I am no longer an injured bird, searching for a nest. Instead I have been soaring and dare I say feeling a little bit more at peace each day.

There are a few current projects in motion and things that have taken me away from my blog writing, which have challenged me in many ways. Within my other efforts of writing, even privately in my journal, I have been able to execute and exhale everything that I have been feeling. 2015 thus far has been great. I can count on one hand how many chemo treatments I have had, there haven’t been any visits to the hospital and nothing major (other than my regular treatment) that is getting in the way of enjoying my life. Just last month I was able to rejoice in a week long vacation with, Steve in Hawaii. To enlighten on how necessary and needed the trip was for the two of us would be impossible to explain. However, it revived both of us from the last twenty months of peaks and valleys.

Tomorrow will be my last chemotherapy treatment before I’m off to travel, again, this time visiting the UK for nearly a month. It will be nice to be in motion and quench my thirst for worldly experiences by spreading my wings and flying. Upon my return, I hope to revamp my blog and share with you some of my new experiences, as well as travel stories. In the meantime, I have some things coming up, so stay tuned…

To stay updated best, catch me on Instagram: @bestillmyheartblog

Yours always,

B

PS- Watch out for AWARE MAGAZINE coming soon, with a piece written by yours truly in the POWERFUL YOUNG WOMEN BEHIND THE SCENES…