My Crystal Baller: 🔮

Posted on May 23, 2016 by BeStillMyHeartBlog

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Happy Birthday

It’s been said a time or two that opposites attract. Crystal and I are the mere definition of that saying. However, our relationship has been fierce from the start. Nearly three decades of one million memories, ten thousand jokes, one hundred shared secrets, all for one reason: best friends. Today is my number ones 30^th Birthday and I couldn’t have enough lovely things to say about my unbiological sister and how happy I am that I found her in this big, wide world.

Crystal, there’s not many things that our friendship hasn’t endured. From the time we were little you were a sweet cupcake in a world full of muffins. We’ve been through crazy times, weddings, funerals, good times and bad, but we’ve never turned our backs on one another — even when we did a little soul searching of our own we were still imprinted on one another’s hearts and souls. May the next thirty years be just the same.

My wish for your coming year is that it’s filled with a little magic and madness, but the good kind of folly. Travel to your hearts desire, see the world and share your many adventures. While you’re at it, read some fine books along the way and get lost in the words and your imagination. Sing at the top of your lungs, Mariah Carey style. Relax and let the world spin madly on, whilst you sip on a fine glass of wine. Do something to surprise yourself. Treat yourself and splurge on something without feeling the slightest bit guilty. Live only as you can. And most importantly, come visit your best friend. Just remember, in an mmmbop it’s gone. Happy 30^th my beautiful forever friend. I love you more than any word I could ever write.

Love your best friend for eternity,

Britt x

Dior: Made Her Fall to the Floor

Posted on March 17, 2016 by BeStillMyHeartBlog

Imagine a personality ten times larger than life. We met at my best friend Crystal’s 20th Birthday and her friend from college came to the shindig we were throwing at Crystal’s parents house. Our meeting is another hilarious story for yet a completely differet post. Pardon me, once again I veered off track. I met the one and only Innesa, a Russian born, Jewish and Brunette version of Marilyn Monroe. A force to be reckoned with and sharp as a tack. Needless to say we were attracted to one another as friends immediately. It was though we had known one another for lifetimes, eons, centuries.

Wild is an understatement to describe her, but not negatively or with an irresponsible connotation. I mean ballsy, bold, badass. Our stars aligned during a very pivotal time for the both of us — right around the time we turned 21. My 21st was beyond mental and I don’t recall it clearly enough to regurgitate it (get it). I make myself laugh. Opps, sorry. Focus. Yet, for Innesa’s Birthday I remember ever detail.

I should probably back up and tell you where all this is coming from. We have a fancy built in closet and the rack on the wooden wardrobe fell down completely. It looked like a tornado snuck into our closet. After being that way for over a week, I couldn’t look at it like that for a moment longer and I was united. To my despair, as I was reunited with my precious Nan today, as she returned from her holiday to Aruba and once again organized my closet.

Whist handing her things as she’s standing on a mid-level ladder, I came across a Dior bag that was dusty and placed at the very back of my wardrobe and fell amongst the collapse of the rest of the wardrobe. When I say bag, I don’t mean purse, I mean, shopping bag. A Dior one.

A month or so ago I re-organized most of my everyday shoes and a friend of mine suggested that I blog about all of my different shoes I have as I posted as comment on how many memories each pair of shoe brings back and all of the places around the world they have been. If only shoes can talk. Then I figured they can’t, but I can write about it and she was right. There is a deep love affair with all of my shoes because they all tell a story.

As I was handing off the Dior bag which contains a pair of white Dior sandal heels, still in the box and probably worn twice. The box was dusty and I saw a hotel tag on the strap of the bag with a guy’s name on it. I’ll respect his anonymity — so let’s call him BJ Einns and I was instantly transported back to Las Vegas circa 2007.

At the time I was working for American Express and was in sales and making more money than I knew what to do with. My bills were being paid, I was a spender and didn’t have any remorse when swiping that debit card. Zavy on the other hand was the complete opposite, she liked a good negotiation and that is putting it delicately.

It was our second to last day and we weren’t leaving until that night and decided to go for brunch at the delicious but disgustingly expensive buffet at The Wynn and then we were going to browse around the shops inside ritzy hotel and casino on the famous strip. Following our gluttony and mimosa session at the buffet we wobbled to the shops like Chanel, Louie, McQueen — all my faves. Then we stumbled into Dior and at the time I just j’adored Dior. I’ll be classy and won’t drop the price, but let’s just say that Zavy nearly fainted and needed to sit down immediately…

TO BE CONTINUED…

I F*CKING LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS!

Posted on June 19, 2015 by BeStillMyHeartBlog

If you drink too much, cuss too much and have questionable morals, you are probably my friend. Okay, all jokes aside, I don’t take the time often enough to say “I F*CKING LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS!” and the thing is, I do. I’ve always been one of those lucky ducks when it comes to friends, whether past or present, I’ve always had solid girlfriends of all shapes, sizes and opinions. Absolutely there have been a few sour apples in the mix, but the rest of the batch has been unmatched.

After going through the trenches of cancer for the past two years, I realize that I have not been the greatest girlfriend in return. I’m notorious for forgetting to respond to text messages, I make plans and bail and even sometimes become self consumed with my own, crazy life that I don’t spend enough time expressing interest in yours. Yet all the while, without a doubt I still get love and you never fail to leave me off the invite list, even though you know I most likely won’t leave my house (((because, because))) and we can go days, weeks, months and even at times a whole year without spending more than an hour together, but at the drop of a hat I know you’d be there.

This one is for my girls;

Thank you for keeping it real when I have a tendency to do the most ridiculous things or have the most outlandish ideas. I come to you because I know you are wise and honest and will always have my best interest at heart.

To my friends that are now Mom’s — GOD BLESS YOU! None of you will ever truly know how in awe I am of you. I can barely remember to brush my hair and take my crazy pills and yet you manage to not only take the best care of your kid(s), but you also look crazy beautiful and effortless while doing it. I endlessly praise you!

To my friends who have traveling souls, you may not realize this but as a cancer patient I live vicariously. I have been very fortunate to be able to travel even going to Hawaii and the UK just this year, but it’s difficult due to energy levels, treatments, etc. It’s so lovely to see photos or hear stories of your travels, its beautiful to see the thirst people have for adventure and living life to its fullest and the way you see the world is wildly contagious and inspiring.

To all my #Girlboss friends out there, no matter what profession you are in, you work damn hard and deserve it all. Your insane ability to manage squillions of things at once and be on point as a friend is beyond me. Get it!

The fearless friends that hone in on things they love to do and put effort into practicing their craft. With having the attention span of a fly and the energy of a snail, the fact that, unlike me, you take the time to run a marathon or belly dance at the nearest coffee shop means you took the time to learn something, to better yourself and immerse yourself into your passions. How truly motivating, I mean, really.

My point is, I’ve been blessed with friends from all ends of the earth and all walks of life. We may not talk everyday or laugh over brunch and a mimosa(sss) on a regular basis, but in some way you all do what you do and still manage to be a brilliant friend. So, I guess what I am trying to say is, THANKS. On days that are a bit darker than others, I can still smile knowing that I can call the most kick ass babes, my friends.

Cheers, GIRLS!

A BROAD, ABROAD WITH A BLOG, ✈

Posted on May 8, 2015 by BeStillMyHeartBlog

Hello, my shining moonbeams. It’s been a minute. Within that minute I have entered what I feel to be a new phase in my life, a freeing phase that is catapulted by happiness. For nearly a month, I spent time across the pond and rediscovered my life and the things I want out of it.

To start off, wow. Can I just say – I LOVE ENGLAND! I’ve always known that and I had been there times before, but this time felt different. As most of you know, if you follow my story, I have been on travel lock down since my cancer diagnosis in the summer of 2013. By nature I am a jetsetter. I enjoy being in unknown places, without being attached to my “real” life and the troubles within. When I travel, there is a certain romance to it, a freedom that allows you to be whomever you want and for me, that is living without a terminal illness. I’m able to go back to being me; an adventurer with thirst in my blood for worldly experiences. When I was diagnosed, I felt that one of the biggest losses to having cancer was the fact that I could no longer be as free as I wished to be. My citizen of the world passport would no longer apply and I’d be stuck doing treatment after treatment without an escape. My escape had become writing. If I were no longer going to be able to leave and experience life, then I’d write about it, which I have.

This year, 2015, I vowed to myself that it would be different than the last two, that I would yet again spread my wings and live a little. In the beginning of the year I approached my Doctor and pleaded for some independence from my chemotherapy week after week, to which she obliged and advised that 2015 could be my year of travel with chemo squeezed in between. It was the best news I had heard in quite some time and immediately booked a trip to Hawaii with Steve-O and planned the trip for Nan and I go travel to the UK together to attend my beautiful cousin’s wedding and share laughs and love with the family over there that we don’t get to see often enough.

The trip was so important to me and I wanted to ensure that I soaked everything in. My Nan in her very own way was my wish-granting factory, as she made the trip happen. Being that we were returning to her home town, I was fortunate enough to visit her previous homes, where she grew up, the house she was born in, the hospital she had my Mum and Auntie Bev in, where my Granddad went to college, where the two of them were married and so much more. Being able to experience England through her eyes was more than my hearts desire and something I will never be able to thank her enough for.

There were endless amounts of stories, laughs, fish and chips, tea and best of all time with family on both my Nan’s side and my Granddad’s side. My roots are in full force over there and it was lovely to get to know that side of myself so much more. The posh wedding of my cousin, which we attended, has built memories that will last a life time, as well as traveling to Chester, Liverpool and all over the Wirral with my cousin’s and their other halves, of course also visiting London with the best company and seeing each and every friend and family member. Howls were had, love was expressed and England will forever hold the key to my heart. Quite literally, as Nan and I locked our love on Albert Dock in Liverpool and threw the key into the River Mersey. Our loved ones can continue to visit us in Liverpool, even though we may not physically be there, our spirit will always remain.

Since I’ve been back I have been reliving each moment in my head and finding it difficult to write about. My time spent there was so special, that it is difficult to express. I feel rejuvenated and feel I have a new sense of direction for my life. Suddenly gears have started moving upon my return and from that, fresh goals have emerged. I’m super excited about the future and what it holds and as things get closer, I’ll share more deets.

In the meantime, check out some photos from my trip and watch out for some upcoming projects and collabos. Big Kiss x.

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UKTRIP1

Normality…

Posted on August 26, 2014 by BeStillMyHeartBlog

At this point, I am sure you’ve all realized that I am terrible at keeping promises; i.e. updating my blog regularly as vowed. I wish I were here to tell you that I was living life on the wild side, out there in the world doing once in a lifetime things, but instead of that I’ve been doing just the opposite; I have been living life in normalcy.

Normalcy is something that for a while was far out of my reach. It felt as though that anything “normal” left the day of my diagnosis, which it did in a way. Yet, now I am discovering more and more normality. I’ve been keeping quite busy- spending time with family, friends, throwing my husband a dirty-thirty pool party and continuing to be inspired by everyday things that cross my path. Although I haven’t been writing much as of late, my inspiration for general things has been transcendent. My mind somehow has been opened wide and I feel as though I am experiencing every fiber of what life is about; to be happy, even if that means being normal.

While still working on my book about my journey with cancer, I am a little “cancer-ed” out at the moment. I suppose that is in some way a good thing, cancer is no longer consuming all of my thoughts. That said, I will be taking a brief break from that and will also be starting a fictional novel. Updates on that to come!

On another note, tomorrow is my third chemo round (2.3). So far this journey with the levels of posion have not been terrible. Certainly not wonderful, or what I look forward to every other week for 3 day each time, but it’s all about mind over matter. This time I have gone into it knowing what to expect and essentially showing it whose boss in this situation. After all, it is my body- why shouldn’t I be in charge? The symptoms have been minimal, the regular aches and pains, increase in neuropathy (you’d think I ought to be used to that by now) and then some night sweats, which I had never experienced prior. Needless to say, I am grateful that the side effects are bearable and I am just plugging along, enjoying life.

As this particular blog is semi-all-over-the-place, I will share some pictures from Steve’s 30th Birthday party this past weekend, as well as a challenge, taking place on Facebook regarding positivity and gratitude. I challenge all of you to do the same, even if not on social media, but for yourself, to take a minute to reflect on what you’re thankful for and/or positive things happening in your life.

Cheers- talk soon xx