Almost Thirty: Memory Lane Part I


Sometimes I get a little sentimental about the days before I was diagnosed with cancer. Often times it’s when I am relaxing my achy soul in a steaming bubble bath while Patsy Cline cradles my heart with her soothing songs in the background. Drifting into another lifetime, the thought of the long-standing side effects of chemotherapy are not lost upon me. “Chemo brain” is the common lingo used to describe the forgetfulness, where some cancer patients like myself are greatly impacted. That combined with the lethal pain management medication, it becomes easy to have left your mind in an unknown place.

If memory serves me right (pun intended), I used to be as sharp as a tack. A memory of an elephant and the ability to recount the tiniest of details was a knack I thought I’d never shake. Admittedly I see now that I took it for granted. Throughout my school days it was not unusual for me to retain everyone’s name in every single class, whether we spoke or not. It was a part of my charm, even perhaps making others feel special every so often. Maybe?

Then cancer entered my life. I started treatment and one of the initial impressions of chemotherapy, aside from the physical elements, was feeling detached from my mind and memory. Spacey would be an understatement of how I swiftly felt as my treatment proceeded, leaving me to barely recount short or long-term cognizance.

From there it trickled down and sanctioned me into thinking about where my life is presently and all of the hopes and dreams I still have for myself. The floodgates to the inevitable neatly seep in and take over, with mortality becoming the forefront of every  foggy thought. In the midst of the flood, something happens and like a life vest, my memories suddenly save me. It can be triggered by a text, a picture, a song or even a smell and all at once, just like that, I remember. I remember why I fight so damn hard everyday to beat this cancer, to reclaim my life. The memories provide the sunshine when the path is too dim to see what’s ahead. And soon, I will be able to say that I have 30 years full of magnificent memories and have been blessed with such a colorful life.

As my 30th Birthday approaches, I am going to take a trip down memory lane each day and share some of my life’s most precious moments on  Be Still My Heart Blog. Life should be celebrated and while I continue to kick cancer’s ass each day, I will always have my blog to look upon and reminisce, giving me the fuel to continue to fight for my future.

Enjoy this gem of Steve and I on a trip to California and check in as I look back through the years…x

Love, Britt x

Dear Friends, ♡

#ABC #Friendship #LoveGoals I #BSMHB #BeStillMyHeartBlog I www.BeStillMyHeartBlog.wordpress.comThe most beautiful discovery is realizing how good you’ve got it.  Just when my heart was filled with a tinge of sadness over the thought of potential heart problems, it was irreversibly filled with love, elation and gratitude for the friendships that I hold.  It may sound cheesy, but it’s plain and simple; you can truly get through anything when you have the best of friends by your side.

As if it were divine intervention, my best friend flew in this weekend from California, to spend a glorious few days that was full of banter, laughter and endless amounts of fun with the threesome that is known as “ABC”, (Allison, Britt and Crystal).  With conversations impossible to understand by other people, we enjoyed the weekend to the hilt.  It’s true what they say; hard times reveal true friends and I have so many to be thankful for.

As I enter the new week, I have my cardiologist appointment coming up where I will find out if there are any issues with my heart, due to chemo.  The delight that the weekend carried, I can happily move into the new week with a positive attitude in hopes that I will be in the clear.  If not, I know I can get through it based soley on the company that I keep.

In addition to spending quality time with two of my favorite ladies, they showed an even greater amount of devotion by supporting Colon Cancer and the fight against it via the Colon Cancer 5K marathon that will be taking place in Phoenix next Saturday.  Unfortunately, Crystal will be back at her home base, but will be cheering us on nonetheless and Allison has created a team called, “Britt Ochoa” and has encouraged all of our friends and family to walk or run in the marathon in an effort to raise awareness and money towards Colon Cancer research.

My friends have reminded me through their steadfastness that splendor exists in the world and that regardless of circumstances there are people that love and support each other through thick and think. Cancer is not a barrier between loved ones, rather a force that compels people to come together to formulate an unrelenting presence full of tenderness and encouragement.  For that, I am eternally grateful.

***If you are in the Phoenix area, please consider walking or running to support research for the cure.


Britt x

All Anyone Needs is a Good Adventure…

Pre-diagnosis, Steve and I would find ourselves having countless adventures such as this. Makes me realize how easy we had it. Nevertheless, I know that many more adventures will be had!



Britt x