Like a silent film, all of my life’s moments played out in my mind last Tuesday, as everything about my life became louder than ever before — unexpectedly making perfect sense. I was frightened to close my eyes that night, apprehensive that I would never open them again. For some strange reason I was at peace and that was the most petrifying part.
Earlier in the day I had an appointment with my fearless Oncologist and she informed Steve and I that my cancer has advanced and has now been detected in my uterus, as well as my lymph nodes in my lower back. Even though it’s my gut that has been trying to kill me, it still speaks to me when something is off — it’s that infamous “gut feeling”. Still, I tried to convince myself that it was just the ramifications of chemotherapy and the amount of treatment I have already undergone at the ripe age of thirty.
Although my tumor markers have shown a steady boom over the last six months since my last chemotherapy infusion, I continued to get scans and stay on top of my illness, knowing that my break could come to an abrupt halt at any moment. Yet, I had never imagined the news that I was told by multiple Doctor’s within the last week. In order for any chance at surviving, an “emergency” hysterectomy must be performed. On December 3rd, 2015 I will be scored once again, exposing my faulty insides in hopes for them to fix me up and sew me back together in one piece. Once they operate, they will be able to determine if the new tumors are a derivative of my colon cancer, or if it is its own unforgiving beast.
Needless to say this brings on a number of questions that will most likely go unanswered, at least until the procedure. Our plates our full but we are remaining optimistic and thankful for every moment during this holiday season.
Later this week I will share some photos from my 30th Birthday celebration, the annual Undy 5k, Thanksgiving and a special Black Friday gift surprise.
Thank you for all of the love and support. I can always feel the vibes.
Love, love, love