In my early twenties, I had more friends than I could count. It was quantity over quality, who was up for the next party and then able to party some more. Sure, I had my closest friends, but even some of those relationships fell by the waste side, while my priorities were about being fledgling, carless and inattentive.
As I reached my mid-twenties, my priorities began to shift and my hundreds of friends began to dwindle in a non-conjuring way, but nevertheless there was a shift in the needs and wants for all parties involved. Soon, as I reached the peak of my later twenties, I have found that my circle has become even smaller, much more intimate and without agenda.
Through the experience of my cancer diagnosis, I am seeing everything through with no time to waste. There has become this trajectory of tolerance and what I am willing to put up with for the sake of the relationship and on the contrary, things that I will not put up with because it seems meaningless in the big scheme of things.
When you begin to have that mindset, you also begin to look at those around you, the people that you let in your life and in time effect your life in some way. People, my friends especially have become so transparent to me. I’ve become more in-tune to their lives and the way they chose to live it, even if my observation is from afar. There are those who will try to be anyone, other than who they are and those that make no excuse for who they are and keep it pretty real.
Typically speaking, those whom I am finding to be in disguise are the ones that drain you. They find medial reasons to be dramatic, have a slew of goals but never find themselves acting on them and ultimately induce dramatics into your life, when you need it less and less. Without sounding harsh or acrimonious, sometimes everyone needs to reflect on the relationships that they keep. I want to mean something to someone wholeheartedly, not just by the short-lived moment and vice versa. Friendships can be a laborious task, but drama-reduction is sometimes necessary for an overall quality of friendship versus quantity.
The pages of friendships past cannot be unwritten or rewritten and we should take those times with an appreciation, but sometimes all you can do is grow from that comradeship and wean yourself away, for the better of both parties.
Ultimately, I have really been given the opportunities to see who my true friends are during this testing time in my life, both old friends and new friend’s. It has provided me the opportunity to reflect the friendships that will stand the test of time and of course those that served their purpose, even if briefly. As your social group becomes smaller, you will realize that it is a lot more even-keeled, with low neglect and surmountable support, as friends should do.
Cheers to those of the past, the sweetness of the present and the foundation of our future.